Within the context of a DIY culture, there are a number of reasons why one should “do it yourself”. In these circumstances, it feels good to look back at your accomplishments, your creativity, and state “I did a good job”. Also, it may save a few dollars along the way by doing it yourself whatever the task may be. However, there are certain situations where DIY doesn’t work out well. For example, cutting your own hair may not present the best version of you, especially when you have an important event to attend like a wedding, interview, or a photo shoot. Also, when it comes to services like auto mechanics, plumbing, or other household challenges; it may be best to hire someone whose expertise is called for. I have been known throughout the years to give it my best shot when it comes to home improvement tasks. Nevertheless, in the end, I often regret the decision to make an amateur attempt at a highly skilled process. And for hours, days, or weeks afterwards when I see my version of home renovation, my thoughts often go toward, “I should know better to NOT do this myself; I got to get this done right”.
Educational advocacy is one of those things in life that may best be handled through the expertise and professionalism of a consultant or advocate whose experience within the school system supports your child’s educational plan. Certainly, not all situations require an advocate. However, when you feel you may be over your head, or you just don’t know the resources, the laws, or the options available, then, you do need the guidance of an educational consultant or advocate. Also, there are times when your emotions seem to get the best of you (or worst) and your attitude moves toward anger, frustration, and worse, hopelessness. We receive phone calls every day from parents due to the very same reasons you are considering contacting an advocate; you are not alone. Even those with years of IEP and 504 plan experience, need support every now and then!
I am forever in gratitude and appreciation to those who have reached out to us through the years and sought our support. There’s an amazing level of humility and grace found within the education advocacy path and most notably, within the stories each parent shares. Also, I have great respect for parents who have helped others with their advocacy path for it does make a difference when you have someone who has walked a similar path for empathy and understanding go far in these situations.
So I believe you too are on an extraordinary path for your child has asked you to step outside the box and be amazing in your own right for exceptional kids require exceptional parents. As you walk this path, you are called upon to bring your “A game”; just know, it’s not all about you doing everything and doing it well. It’s often about finding others who can lend you a hand on this path and sustain the team approach you are creating in support of your child. Remember, you are not alone!
As far as choosing an educational consultant or advocate to work with, I use the following guidelines when I need to refer a parent to another advocate due to scheduling conflicts: I am looking for …
- One who is deeply experienced within the school culture, climate, and setting; schools are like no other work environment I know of. As a result, I trust those who have years of experience working within the system but are now called upon to make a difference from the advocate perspective. This goes well when you are working with teachers and staff for they appreciate professional courtesy expressed across the table when you do this work from a position of having walked a similar path. It’s an imperfect system with many flaws so a dose of courtesy and compassion go far.
- I am looking for one who has an open heart and an open mind for collaboration requires both. I need to trust others if I am attaching my name and reputation to another’s work so I am looking for people who do not have an ax to grind, or an agenda to implement, or hurt or sorrow to heal. My referrals are often people who are like-minded and like hearted and align with my belief in collaboration and willingness to step into the realm of possibility through the advocacy process. There are a number of advocates with good intentions, who may have successfully helped others on this path, however, the notion that advocacy is about “kicking butt” or other forms of adversarial relationships, fails to sustain relationships which need to develop.
- I am always looking for an advocate who has an intuitive sense of kids: their desires, needs, hopes, dreams, and ways in which they experience learning. Most notably, I am looking for people who see the gifts within and build upon interests, motivation, and what already works as the foundation for future intervention. Due to the nature of special needs, where behavior is often the inconvenient truth of the process, I am looking for colleagues who see behavior as a window, an expression, and seek the opportunity to learn about the child for our goal is to “crack the code, not the kid”.
- Finally, I am looking for others who are compassionate about their calling to serve.
As I stated earlier, there are a number of projects and tasks which work well when you do it yourself. However, if you are on the special needs path, whether supporting kids with IEP, 504, or Gifted Education plans, likely, you may need support along the way. It may look like consultation or direct advocacy; just know, you are not alone! Give us a call at (888) 881-5904 or (206) 914-0975.